The 14 Stages of Writing Your Dissertation – Told By Cats

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The 14 Stages of Writing Your Dissertation – Told By Cats

1: you are a young, innocent fresher. Your dissertation is years away, a mere cloud on a distant horizon. Enjoy your peace, your social life, and only needing Ds to pass. Before you know it, you will have entered the furthest reaches of hell.

2: the years have flown by, and you are only a year away from graduating! Time to choose a topic that interests you enough to be stuck with it for the next year. But oh, what to choose? It does not matter what you choose, because I guarantee that you will regret all your life choices at some point down the line.

3: You’ve chosen a topic, you love it, you’re fascinated by it. Time to send off that dissertation proposal! You may be fooled by your years of academic experience, but I can still see the youthful glow in your eyes. Worry not, my sweet child, you will soon be dead inside too.

4: That summer flew by! Time to meet with your supervisor. This is how they look at you, expecting you to remember what you wrote in your dissertation proposal all those months ago.

5: This is how you look at them, hoping they can impart some wisdom, because you can’t remember anything you planned to write about your topic.

6: welp, time to start researching. But where to start? This is not like an essay. O no, dissertation is big and scary.

7: After much consideration, you avoid it for a while.

8: Before you know it, it’s time for your midterm essays. You thought the past few years were hard? Add a 12,000-word monstrosity to your usual workload, and you’ll end up looking like this:

9: And this:

10: You’ve finally done some research, but the horrors continue. Now, you have to actually write the damn thing.

11: Time is clearly fake, because your final deadline is days away. You know just how to handle this! Time to procrastinate. The dissertation can sense your fear, and hiding is the only option.

12: Reality sets in. You can procrastinate no longer.

13: You are physically and emotionally exhausted, but you power through.

14: (I cannot personally vouch for this stage yet) You’ve done it! It’s over! You have survived the most horrific endeavour of your academic life. Time to take a nap.

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